Hello again! This one has taken a long time to sort and write but here it is! The inside scoop on our first real vacation in the USA! I used Bram's photos as well. Turn off your phones, radios and teevees, this is going to take a loooong time.. Destination; The ever friendly Southwest! At stupid o'clock on tuesday the 27th of october, Bram and I reluctantly rolled out of bed, grabbed our meticulously prepared luggage, waved goodbye to Kitty and left for the airport. "Two airplanes to Las Vegas please!" (we ended up having to share one but oh well..) Our early morning-fueled reluctance had faded by the time we were in the airplane, and we looked out the window in anticipation.
Six hours later the doors finally opened again and we got out into a noticeably warmer climate.
Welcome to Vegas baby! How's this for depressing?
Well believe it or not, we went straight to pick up our rental car and hightailed it out of there!
We made regular stops on the way to take in the ever-changing landscape.
After driving a long, long time we ended up in Tusayan, where we were going to spend the first night. But not before checking out the main event, unfortunately we just missed the sunset..
Pictured; one happy main event at a very Grand Canyon indeed!
But we happened to have shown up just as a full moon was climbing up behind the Grand Canyon! It was absolutely breathtaking, and it took less than 3 minutes for the moon to appear completely from behind the mountain, we tried to take pictures but the moon was actually moving too fast to utilize a higher shutter time.
Mister smartypants brought his good camera though, yay!
After just watching the scene unfold for a while we got hungry so we went to find some dinner.
Ah, si señor! Mucho bueno dinero, taco taco taco! (My Mexican needs some more work I'm afraid)
When we had our fill of delicious Mexican food (yes, DELICIOUS!), we returned to our hotel and went to sleep, it had been a long, long day! We got up early the next morning and went to find some breakfast.
A sleep-deprived Bram getting overly friendly with the locals..
Wow, we really ended up in the backwoods, didn't we?
With our bellies full of food and -most importantly- coffee, we returned to the Grand Canyon. We happened to spot some of the local wildlife on the way, very exciting!
It only occurred to me later that I probably should have opened the window to take pictures. Oh well. One crappy Elk butt photo, you're welcome!
These ladies were big! The size of a pony. The deer in the Netherlands ain't got nothing on these! As it happens, their Native American name is Wapiti, which means "White rump" in Shawnee and Cree. Gee, I wonder why..? After a few more minutes we finally got to a good overlook. Pictures don't do the actual place any justice, but I'm going to post them anyway.
Hi mom and dad! I'm not in any danger whatsoever!
Stuntman of the year.
EEK!
What's that, mom and dad? No, I'm totally not doing anything dangerous, don't worry!
I'm also not steadily edging closer to the abyss to get a good selfie, really!
See, nothing to worry about.
People behind us were asking if this was allowed, the answer was "they leave that up to people's own discretion". If that wasn't a thinly veiled "We just let natural selection do its job" I don't know what is.
That's not a wet spot where I was sitting. Because I didn't pee in my pants. Honest.
One last stunt-selfie..
"OH LOOK A BIRD!" -me. Again. I don't know how Bram puts up with it.
I decided this is a special tree, so it gets a special picture.
What is this, a canyon for ants?
We finally managed to drag ourselves away from that awesome spectacle, because there was more to see and we were on a schedule!
Next on said schedule; Sedona. This part of the trip actually took us over historic Route 66!
"Bram? Bram? Bram? Bram? Are we there yet? Bram? Bram? Bram?"
Pretty cool artwork at a gas station where we stopped.
Not just rocks, oh no!
Though I'm guessing rocks are a pretty big thing in this neighborhood...
The guy operating the gas station was the best image of an old cowboy I could ever have imagined. When I asked him if he happened to sell anything to drink he pointed at some water bottles and said with a wink and a gritty voice "Do I look like I drink coffee every morning?" I asked him if he had considered getting a small coffee maker for himself, he said he had been considering that for six months now, but he still went to the next gas station to get his coffee. He was kind enough to give me directions to said gas station though.
Now it's worth mentioning that during this trip, the landscape had been changing insanely fast! From barren hills to desert to pine forests to prairie to snow-capped mountains, it was almost impossible to keep up anymore. Bram had planned a detour to visit Sedona because it was supposed to be this gorgeous desert landscape made up of red rock formations. Up until about ten minutes before we got there, we were in the kind of landscape you see in the pictures above. We started joking that there was NO WAY the landscape could change so quickly from this to a desert with red rock formations. Next thing we knew, we were driving down a steeply curved mountain road, and once we cleared the mountains, well, will ya look at that..
Red rocks!
To our surprise and delight, my regular workouts had resulted in my being able to effortlessly keep up with Bram while hiking up this mountain. Yay me!
Meep meep?
We didn't make it all the way up the mountain, but only because there was one big rock to climb and I was wearing riding boots and a skirt. Which might not have been the best choice of clothing for hiking. Oh well. Sedona itself looked like some sort of Disneyland for "spiritual" people. Healing gems, mediums, astrologers, spirit healers, palm readers, the place was absolutely infested! Needless to say, we didn't stick around too long. Besides, we still had to get to our hotel in Flagstaff. We made it there without a hitch, checked in and went looking for something to eat. Because with all that mountaineering we had worked up a serious appetite.
We found a very hip and happening Italian restaurant, but there was a bit of a wait. So we put our names down and I followed Bram who had set a determined course toward the Chick-Fil-A next to our hotel. He just wanted to try the chicken, that's all. After sharing one portion of nuggets and filling out a questionnaire for a free chicken burger, we went back to the Italian restaurant.
I had never had a Long Island Iced Tea. That's all.
Ok, so what happened next was I got my inches and centimeters confused, as I'm sure all immigrants tend to do. I wanted pizza so I ordered one.. Also, we ordered some garlic and cheese bread to start, and they brought us half a fucking baguette completely drowning in cheese! We were stuffed before the main course was even brought out. And then the main course was brought out.
Yes, this pizza was just for me. Yes, the despair on my face was real.
Bram was kind enough to take one (thanks hon!) slice of pizza off my hands, I managed to finish about half on my own (because the crust was super thin and it was delicious, don't you judge me!) and we ended up having loads of pizza for lunch the next day. So it was a good thing after all. We finally rolled back to the hotel to get a good night's sleep, the next day was going to be early and long once again.
Hotel management wanted to make sure we didn't get any impure thoughts. We're immune to your voodoo, hotel management!
The girl at the hotel desk gave us some really good advice for our trip the next day. She told us about the Wupatki National Monument, which was only a slight detour from the way we were going anyway. So we checked it out! But not before Bram had gotten his free chicken burger at the Chick-Fil-A next door. It was ok.
Yep, I'm that asshole who keeps everyone waiting because I actually want to read the information signs and booklets.
The booklet said this piece of wood has been there for 800 years.
After strolling around for a bit we got back to our car and resumed our way to Page, AZ.
Soon we were nearing Page, but we had to get a permit from the LeChee chapter of the Navajo Nation, because we had planned on hiking on their lands. Luckily, Bram had looked up the LeChee chapter house beforehand because it turned out to be a tiny little worn down trailer behind some buildings in the middle of nowhere. A tired looking woman gave us the permit and some half-assed directions and we were on our way to Waterholes Canyon. On our way there we saw a sign that said "Horseshoe Canyon lookout point" so our curiosity was sparked. We stopped at the parking spot (where an actual hearse was parked for some ominous reason) and started following the signs. After about ten minutes of climbing over a steep hill through very loose sand we realized it hadn't been a waste of time and effort!
Busload of Asian tourists got out just before we walked up there. One guy kept playing a game on his phone the whole time he walked there. Didn't look up once.
Amazing!
It's always fun to watch the other tourists as well.
Stunting again..
This is my "I'm smiling but I'm absolutely terrified"-face.
We actually ran into a fellow Dutchman who was kind enough to take this picture of us. Yay Dutchies!
And here's Bram's "I spit in the face of danger!"-look.
After inadvertently dragging at least a kilo of sand into our rental car we set course to the Waterholes Canyon. We had about two hours left before sunset and we naively thought that would be enough. /insert harsh buzzer sound here There was no path, no markings, the woman who sold us the permit had only told us not to climb down immediately but to follow the path and the little piles of rocks. We didn't see any. So we just followed the edge of the canyon for about an hour, climbing over rocks and ridges, trying to find a safe place to climb down but failing hopelessly. Eventually we had to admit defeat and turn back.
My ever vigilant eye did spot another raptor. Might have been a hawk.
As you can see to Bram's left, the canyon walls were pretty steep. Not something to just stroll down into..
"Hee kijk, een buizerd!"
"Is this a safe way down? Nope.."
Meanwhile, the sky was beginning to look seriously threatening...
We spotted a widdle bunny wabbit! It's actually in this photo, see if you can find it! (you'll have to zoom in)
Things live here.
Unfriendly looking things.
Clearly a deadly flower, getting ready to lunge at my throat.
Very unusual and awesome, so naturally, people had trampled all over it.
"The floor was lava!"
These little red spots were all over the place. Didn't look like blood, but what was it?
We met a French couple on our way back (the only other people we had seen the whole time) and got to talk with them, they told us their names and that they lived in Dallas, Texas. They also told us they were nature photographers. Very friendly people! We talked for a while and parted ways again. Back home, I got curious and put my googling skills to the test. I actually found their website! Just when we got in our car it started raining HARD! The windshield wipers couldn't even keep up anymore! The French couple was still a distance behind us so they probably got soaking wet..
Here is a picture of what we had come to see. Courtesy of our hotel. :P
After another short night we got up to drive back to Las Vegas. With a slight detour.
Welcome to Utah..
We made another stop, this time at Zion Canyon, because we heard it was beatiful. Well, it was.
Climbing mountains, getting a sunburn!
This one's broken.
The creek ran dry!
Climbing a little higher still..
Taking a well-deserved break in the shade.
King Cactus sitting on his stone throne.
Climbing even higher...
We made it! What a view... :D
OOOH A LIZARD!!
Just as I was taking pictures of the lizard a couple from Germany joined us. We got to talking, they said they were from München and currently travelling the world. We told them we were on our way to Vegas for Halloween, and I actually showed them my costume that I had brought with me to make some last minute adjustments. They asked us if we would take a picture of them and they returned the favor.
We hung around a little longer and then started our descent, and when we got back to the main road again a big RV pulled out of the parking lot and honked, the German couple sitting inside, waving goodbye.
After we got to our car we went straight to Las Vegas. We got there without problems, checked into our hotel and made our way to the famous Strip.
Ahhh yes, fake Paris. It was actually pretty well made if I have to be completely honest. The American flag kinda ruins it though.
Holy sunburn Batman!
While my exotic husband just gets a tan.
While this was all fine and dandy, we were starving! So we went to find a restaurant. We had dinner and cocktails;
and the waitress told us it was allowed to drink alcohol in public in Las Vegas. Feeling like the total degenerates we are we stopped by a drugstore to get a beer.
A modest one, not too big..
And onwards we stumbled!
Well hey, she looks familiar!
I don't remember that rollercoaster though..
We thought about settling in New York. But, you know, been there, done that.. That's when we glanced across the street.
On second thought, let's go to Camelot. 'Tis a silly place.
ZOLTAR!
We tried our luck on the slot machines but we discovered pretty quickly that they kinda sucked. The arcade was pretty awesome though! But we didn't hang around too long, we were tired and wanted to get back to our hotel. To be completely honest, we both really didn't care for Vegas too much. I thought it was mostly depressing, but Zoltar was one of the redeeming factors.
Egypt was pretty too.
If you're still wondering what kind of place Las Vegas is, this picture pretty much tells you all you need to know. They also bring girls right to your door, I saw that on a taxi. Make of that what you will.
When we got back to the Bellagio I told Bram I really, really wanted to see the water show, made by the same people who made Aquanura! luckily we only had to wait a few minutes. Now, I thought about just posting some pictures, but I decided to put the whole video here because the music is awesome and people are drunkenly yelling through the whole thing. Pictures just aren't enough. :P
YOU THINK TWICE!!!
Well, that was our cue to get some sleep, so back to the hotel we went. The next morning, after returning our rental car and asking the taxi driver to drop us off at the only reasonable breakfast place we (Bram) could think of
Another obligatory stop on the way.
we headed for Excalibur (or Camelot, whichever) once more. We took our sweet time preparing our Halloween costumes and still had some time left to gamble.
Beginners luck, my ass.
We walked up to a roulette table and within 5 minutes we had both lost 20 dollars. We decided gambling sucks and moved back to the arcade hall where we hung out until our taxi arrived. You see, we had another special thing planned, something we had both wanted really bad. To get married in Las Vegas. By a fake Elvis!
WAIT WHAT??
Oh come on, I told you three months ago, if you just listened for once...
Anyway, our limo is here, no turning back now!
This is my "OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ACTUALLY IN A LIMOUSINE!"-face. In case you missed it.
"I could get used to this.."
We had to wait a bit because there was another couple in there, with their THIRTEEN(!!!!) children, we heard they came back there every year to renew their wedding vows. Wow. Thirteen.
It was just us, Elvis and the photographer who was constantly cracking up because we refused to follow the script, and Elvis went along with it brilliantly! Also, he kept calling Bram "Brian", we decided to go with it. The photographer knew though, causing him to laugh even harder. XD It was delightfully shameful, totally fake, not entirely sober and absolutely hilarious! Too bad it was over so soon, but we had to get back to our hotel, change into decent clothes and make our way to the airport, because we had a plane to catch! We made it to the airport in one piece, I noticed our pilot sounded exactly like Stephen Merchant. He didn't pull a Wheatley though, he got us to New York in just 4 hours, because -as he put it- "We're just that good".
Just watch it towards the end, it's gorgeous!
We landed in New York around the same time we left, stupid o'clock. We decided on taking a taxi, were greeted by the sarcastic doorman when we walked in our building and then by an angry Kitty when we walked into our apartment.
